         IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THEN THE PRINTER INTERFACE WORKS.
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There was a young lady named Hall,
Wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
	The dress caught on fire
	And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section, and all.

There was an old pirate named Bates
Who was learning to rhumba on skates.
	He fell on his cutlass
	Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.

"Under capitalism, man exploits man.  Under Communism, it's just the
opposite."
		-- J. K. Galbraith

God must love assholes -- She made so many of them.

A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for
the first time.
		-- Alfred E. Wiggam

"If you're a real good kid, I'll give you a piggy-back ride on a
buzz-saw."
		-- W. C. Fields

"I've had one child.  My husband wants to have another.  I'd like to
watch him have another."

Howard Cosell's biggest protrusion is his asshole
		-- John Valby

	Them Toad Suckers

How 'bout them toad suckers, ain't they clods?
Sittin' there suckin' them green toady frogs!

Suckin' them hop toads, suckin' them chunkers,
Suckin' them a leapy type, suckin' them flunkers.

Look at them toad suckers, ain't they snappy?
Suckin' them bog frogs sure make's 'em happy!

Them hugger mugger toad suckers, way down south,
Stickin' them sucky toads in they mouth!

How to be a toad sucker, no way to duck it,
Get yourself a toad, rear back, and suck it!

		-- Mason Williams

Nothing is better than Sex.
Masturbation is better than nothing.
Therefore, Masturbation is better than Sex.

Occident:  The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient.
It is largely inhabited by Christians,  powerful sub-tribe of the
Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which
they are pleased to call "war" and "commerce."  These, also, are the
principal industries of the Orient.

Statisticians probably do it.

